Do you ever look back at the year and wonder how it managed to slip away? I did this post last year, and I remember feeling accomplished; happy that I set new intentions for 2019. My goals felt reasonable, attainable, and something that was truly ‘me’.
As I looked back on that post this holiday season, I started to get really down. I was being hard on myself. I hadn’t accomplished everything that I set out to do. Seeing so many posts on social media titled “2019: BEST YEAR YET!!!”, I couldn’t help but compare. I didn’t even read all the books I wanted. Was this a way to close out the decade?
In December, I attempted to set things right and accomplish a mountain of holiday-related tasks to end the year off with a bang. I grew exhausted; I became sick. My body told me to stop, to rest. (I’m one of those kinds of people who have two settings: on and off). This last week has been a forced reset.
As 2019 closes, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I can’t change what’s happened, how the year has played out. I can only be kind to myself and move forward into this new year, this new decade.
Final Thoughts of 2019:
I read 17 books this year. It may not be so-and-so’s 52 read on Good Reads, but that’s 15 more than the year previous. Although I never travel as much as I’d like, I did become more content with being home, here in Edmonton. I didn’t reach any blog related goals, but I *think* I’ve finally beat the depression and anxiety that has plagued me for the last decade. Do you know what the secret was? Getting offline. Being present. Practicing mindful activities. Those are major achievements in and of themselves.
Honestly, the last few days have been difficult watching others play their highlight reels. I had to give myself a shake and remember what I had been feeling the last few months: that I have gratitude, that I am blessed, and I embrace joy.
So here’s to another decade. Here’s to not setting a single goal. Here’s to being thankful. Happy New Years!