What Not to Wear (Canadian Style Edition)

This. This is what not to wear if you want to look like a Canadian. This is anti - Canadian style. Do NOT wear this if you want to blend in. You will most definitely stand out in an outfit this horribly wrong.

Canadian Style: Bottoms

The only thing right about this outfit is the denim. Canadians feel most at home in blue jean fabric. To be completely honest, this particular pair of jeans is all wrong. The cut is too "right now" and the colour isn't that highly-desired Wrangler blue. To achieve the valued Canadian denim look, one must dress head to toe in denim, and this is simply not enough. Canadian jeans must be a traditional bootcut. Bonus points if it has bedazzled western flap pockets and white stitching. Extra bonus points if jeans are worn with 2008 skate shoes and/or actual cowboy boots.

Those shoes are clearly socks. They're not even real shoes (aka boots - because what are the point of shoes otherwise). Please keep socks hidden in public.

Canadian Style: Tops

And don't even get me started on the hat. A beret? Like where are we, Paris?Luckily, Canadian style dictates that toques are mandatory, to be worn indoors and out, year round. This clearly violates this policy.

While there is elements of plaid on this outfit, it is not bright enough. Traditional Canadian style plaid is typically red, green, or blue, and in a flannel fabric. The look is very reminiscent of lumber jack chic.

Fortunately, this purse (Canadians don't say handbag, that would be too fashion forward) works. It's green, like our forests. It seems quite practical and sturdy. Although, a backpack with a Canadian flag on it would be more acceptable. Hopefully it's made of real leather (doubtful) #Albertabeef.

No one who excels at Canadian style would wear a pink sweater like that. It's clearly not a hoodie (or a bunny hug if you live in Saskatchewan) and has no logo across the chest. What's the point of a sweater if it doesn't say where you got it from? No true Canadian actually needs a sweater to keep warm.

What kind of coat is that? A cardigan? Every self-respecting Canadian knows you wear you ski jacket over everything from October to May. Even if it's flip-flop weather, you'd better just bring the ski jacket anyways and wear it unbuttoned.

Overall, I give this outfit a zero out of ten, and that's spelled zed-ee-argh-oh.

I hope this post has given you some insight on Canadian style. Please follow these guidelines if you wish to visit Canada in the winter. Do not follow the outfit shown as a style, but instead use it as an example of what not to wear instead.

**Disclaimer

I hope you've realized that this is a parody. If this is actually your style, I'm sorry in the most Canadian way possible and hope I don't offend you. No Canadians were harmed in the making of this blog post.

Shop this post: beret - scarf - sweater - coat (last seen here) - tights for keeping warm - this amazing pair of denim - handbag (old, no dupes) - booties

If you do like the traditional Canadian look, I've found some stylish alternatives to shop:

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